Movie Madness
by GhostAuthor
Summary: How do our favorite villains react to finding out their places in our media? Let's find out


**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

"_..And here's where Hammer works. If you ever need anything done to blades, he's your guy,"_Jason wrote. For some odd reason, they'd elected him to be a tour guide again._"And that's it for the tour."_

Freddy smiled."Speaking of which. George! Do you have them?"

The blacksmith looked up from his work. He pointed with his left arm that now held a hammer where a hand should be. On one of the benches was a bundle of cloth. Freddy snatched it up and unwrapped it. Inside were four shiny new blades. He could make his glove over and over again, but he'd always need new blades. He put them carefully in his pocket and started towards the hotel.

"Thanks Hammer!"

"_You wore them out again?"_Jason asked coming up beside him.

"Somehow messed up the blades last time I was up top."

"_Tough break."_

"Yeah, and I need your whetstone again."

This started an argument that lasted until they got to the hotel.

"_What happened to yours again?"_

Freddy plopped onto the couch, waking up the passed out Chucky."I told you. I have to take care of four blades. You only have one."

"_But mine's bigger than yours."_

Behind them, they heard Joker laughing."I don't think he only meant the machete."

Chucky joined in, and Freddy glared.

"What is it with you people and commenting on our anatomy?"

"Kia did get you pretty good,"Harley said with a giggle.

The two slashers stopped."How do you know her name?"Freddy asked.

"It was in a movie, _Freddy Vs Jason_. Me and Ivy went to see once."

Jason shook his head._"Our lives are nothing but movies? This can't be right."_

Joker chuckled."It's true. Harley roped me into watching a few of them. What were they again?"

"_A Nightmare on Elm Street_, Puddin'. I love the part were you killed the guy in the water bed."

Freddy was now staring. He remembered doing that like it was yesterday."I'm a fucking movie character. I thought you were joking."

"Nope!"said Harley"There's about seven of them last I head. The goalie over there has twelve. You two and Mikey are considered to be the kings of horror."

"What about me?"Chucky asked, climbing back onto the couch.

"Sorry, Chuck. You only have five, and the studio said they weren't doing anymore."

Freddy started laughing."I told you talking dolls weren't scary."

"What is is how horrible the movies have gotten,"said Pamela walking over."Ever since Michael Bay took over producing, things have pretty bad."

"You mean the guy that made that piece of shit Transformers?"asked Chucky.

"The same. He's produced the remakes of those two and Leatherface, and they've sucked."

"Who the fuck gave that bastard the authority to touch movies?"asked Freddy, now enraged.

Ivy shrugged."Dunno. Ever since Wes Craven stopped directing you, things got bad."

"Never took you for a horror fan, Pammy,"Joker said.

"It's no worse than looking at you, clown. Besides, Harv always picks the best ones for our dates."

"You and Half Baked?"Chucky asked with a laugh."Even after you tried to kill him?"

"That was a long time ago, and how do you know that, Shorty?"

"_We're movies in your world, and in ours, you guys are in cartoons, movies, and comic books,"_Jason answered._"The best cartoon was in the 90's."_

Freddy looked at him."You know this, how?"

Jason shrugged._"I'm a kid at heart. The camp was rewired with cable, and it played on Saturdays."_

Chucky nodded"Yeah. That and the movies were good except for that what Joel Schumacher did."

Freddy laughed."Oh yeah. A Bat Credit Card, and a Batsuit with nipples! Priceless!"

Chucky and Joker joined in."Then Mr. Freeze getting played by the Terminator with bad ice puns."

Their laughter attracted Edward and Pinhead from their chess game."Why must you two cause so much noise?"Pinhead asked.

Freddy was laughing so hard before pointing at Riddler."You! You got played by Jim Carrey in our world. You were a crazier ginger than Chucky!"

Edward started sputtering."What? That clown played me? My hair is obviously brown!"

"Blame Joel Schumacher!"Chucky said with laugh."The theater loved it though."

Edward sunk down next to Freddy holding his head."Oh. It could be worse. It could have been sent direct to DVD like Pinhead."

The Cenobite looked at his chess partner."What?"

Edward looked up."Yeah. The last five of your movies didn't hit theaters like the first four. Hellraiser didn't even make a hundred million in total. Jason's the king when it comes to sales."

Jason started smiling under his mask. He'd outdone Freddy twice in their world. Freddy looked at him with a glare.

"Wipe that grin off your face, motherfucker."

Jason would never understand how Freddy did that.

"Don't be jealous, Freddy,"Pamela said."You're in third place."

"Who else beat me out then?"

"Hannibal, and he only has five like Chucky."

"Son of a bitch!"

Jason started laughing along with Chucky though no one could tell."Don't be that way, Crispy,"Joker said."You've had the best actor. That Robert guy had played you in the original six, and the new one isn't that bad unlike the movie."

Freddy calmed down."Good. The last guy that played you killed himself."

Joker started laughing."Really? What else can you tell us?"

"A lot,"Chucky said."but only if you tell us what you know."

"Just remember to speak slowly for Jason's sake,"Freddy said.

Jason swung his machete out of nowhere, but Freddy teleported away to a nearby chair. Jason glared but took Freddy's seat on the sofa.

"Can you two ever stop arguing?"snapped Pamela.

"_Can you and Joker stop fighting?"_Jason asked.

The two in question looked at each other."He's got a point,"said Joker.

Pamela nodded."I know. I'll start and tell him about the time they sent him to space."

_**FIN**_


End file.
